FROM THE BOOK OF HEAVEN
12/31/02 – Vol. 4
The victim soul is greatly Loved by Jesus, but sometimes is nauseating to Him, because her exterior appears before Divine Justice as covered with the sins of others.
Continuing to be with a fear that I might oppose the Will of my adorable Jesus, I was feeling all oppressed and distressed, and I prayed Him to free me, saying: ‘Lord, have pity on me; don’t You see the danger I am in? How is it possible that I, most wretched little worm, dare so much as to feel myself opposed to your Holy Will? And besides, what good can I possibly find, and into what abyss will I plunge myself if I am separated from your Will?” While I was saying this, Blessed Jesus moved in my interior, and through a light that He sent me, He seemed to say to me: “You never understand anything – this state is state of victim. When they offered you as victim for Corato, you accepted. Now, what is the evil present in Corato? Is there perhaps not rebellion of the creature against the Creator, between priests and secular, and among parties? Now, your unwanted state of rebellion, your fear, your pains, are an expiatory state, and this state of expiation I Myself suffered in Gethsemani, as I reached the point of saying: ‘If it is possible, let this chalice pass from Me; yet, not My will but Yours be done’ – while I had so much yearned for it during the whole course of My Life, to the point of feeling consumed.”
On hearing this, it seemed I regained tranquility and strength, and I prayed Him to pour His bitternesses into me. I drew close to His Mouth, but as much as I sucked up, nothing would come out; only a most bitter breath that embittered my whole interior. So, seeing that He was not pouring anything, I said: ‘Lord, You don’t Love me any more; bitternesses You do not want to pour – pour Your Sweetnesses at least.’ And He: “Quite the opposite, I Love you more; and if you (Luisa) were able to enter into My interior, you would see with clarity, in all of My Parts, distinct Love toward you (Luisa). Sometimes I (Jesus) Love you (Luisa) so much that I reach the point of Loving you as much as I Love Myself, although some other times I cannot look at you and you are nauseating to Me.” What a thunderbolt these last words were for my poor heart! To think that I was not always Loved by my Loving Jesus, and that I reached the point of being an abominable soul… Had He not Himself run to explain to me the meaning of this, I could not have survived. So He added: “Poor daughter (Luisa), is this very hard for you? You have encountered My same lot. I (Jesus) was always Who I was, one with the Sacrosanct Trinity, and We Loved One Another with Eternal, indissoluble Love. Yet, as Victim, covered with all the iniquities of men, My exterior was abominable before the Divinity, so much so, that Divine Justice spared no part of Me, rendering Itself inexorable to the point of abandoning Me. You (Luisa) are always who you are with Me, but since you occupy the state of victim, your exterior appears before Divine Justice as covered with the sins of others. This is why I (Jesus) spoke those words to you (Luisa). You, however, calm yourself, because I Love you always.” Having said this, He disappeared. It seems that this time blessed Jesus wants to make me upset, though He immediately gives me Peace. May He be always blessed and thanked.