Luisa begins to write the Volumes by order of her Confessor. She begins with Volume 2 and then goes back to write Volume 1
V2 – 2.28.99 – By order of the confessor I begin to write what passes between me and Our Lord, day by day. Year 1899, month of February, day 28.
I confess the Truth, I feel great repugnance; the effort I have to make in order to conquer myself is so great, that only the Lord can know the torture of my soul. But, oh Holy obedience, what a powerful bond you are! You alone could conquer me, and overcoming all my repugnances, almost impassable mountains, you bind me to the Will of God and of the confessor. But, please! Oh! Holy Spouse, as great as my sacrifice is, so much help do I need; I want nothing but for You to hold me in your arms and sustain me. In this way, assisted by You, I will be able to say only the Truth, only for your Glory, and to my confusion.
This morning, as the confessor celebrated Mass, I also received Communion. My mind was in a sea of confusion because of these obediences that are given to me by the confessor, to write everything that passes in my interior. As soon as I received Jesus, I began to tell Him of my pains, especially my insufficiency, and many other things. But Jesus seemed not to care about this thing of mine, and did not answer to anything. A light came to my mind, and I said: ‘Who knows whether I myself am the cause for which Jesus is not showing Himself according to His usual way.’ So, with all my heart, I said to Him: ‘O please! my Good and my All, don’t show Yourself so indifferent with me – You make my heart split with pain. If it is because of the writing – let it be, let it be, even if it cost me the sacrifice of my life, I promise I will do it!’ Then Jesus changed appearance and, all benign, He told me: “What do you fear? Have I not assisted you the other times? My light will surround you everywhere, and so you will be able to Manifest it.”
